Speaking Australian
Head to our Aussies for weekly email/blog day. It is becoming apparent that they truly do speak their own language. For instance, words and phrases that Megan and I now not only understand but also use in sentences:
1) Daggy
2) Woggy
3) Chook
4) Chuck a spac
5) Take a squiz
6) Drongo
7) Arvo
I can even turn these words/phrases into a conversation. Watch.
Enter Stage Left.
Me: Take a squiz there.
Megan: That looks a bit woggy to me.
Me: Yeah, totally daggy.
Megan: Totally. You want to get a bit of chook?
Me: Not now, maybe in the arvo.
Megan: Well don’t chuck a spac on me.
Me: Don’t worry, I don’t want to look like a drongo.
Bow. Applause. Exeunt Megan and Brittany. End Scene.
10 points to every person who can interpret this conversation.
Tonight we learn how to make pasta. (See Megan’s detailed directions on the How-To) It is remarkably easy. That is, when we have the direct supervision of our talented and experienced teachers. As soon as Megan and I are left to our own devices to cut the pasta, we make a vital judgement error and spend the next ten minutes trying to cover it up. All comes out well in the end and we end up eating from the largest bowl of pasta I have ever seen in my life. (Cue lyrics, “Pasttaaa, Pasttaaa”.)
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Making Spaghetti
Last week I learned how to do something that I NEVER thought I would ever learn how to do. I was taught how to make spaghetti. I was actually surprised at how easy it is. I am now going to share my new knowledge in 5 easy steps.
Step One: Make yourself a drink. It is best to cook with a drink in hand. We chose mojitos, but it really doesn’t matter.
Step Two: Ingredients. You will need flour, eggs, and salt. That is it! Make a volcano with the flour. Now a real pro doesn’t need measurements for the flour, so just make it look like the picture. I am no pro, that is why I needed to photo document the whole process. Sprinkle the flour volcano with salt. Using one egg per person, whip them in a bowl and then pour them in the centre of the flour volcano. Then knead together. The dough should have a pale yellow color.
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Step Three: Section your dough into 4 parts. Run the dough through the pasta maker. First only to flatten the dough. Put flour on the dough before running it through the pasta maker, so it does not stick. Put the dough through the maker twice on each setting, starting with the biggest. For example 8, 6, and then 4. Run the pasta through until the dough sticks together smoothly, until there are no air bubbles or holes. Until it looks smooth like in the picture.
Step Four: Cut the dough to the length of noodle that you would like. Now change the setting on the pasta maker to cut the dough into the noodles. Carefully feed the dough through the maker to make spaghetti.
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Step Five: Now lightly toss the spaghetti in flour, so that it does not stick together. It finally looks like spaghetti!!
You now have your homemade spaghetti that tastes way better than store bought spaghetti. To cook, put the spaghetti in boiling water for about 7 minutes. When the noodles are floating they are done. You can also freeze the raw noodles in an airtight container to save for another time. To cook them, put the frozen spaghetti directly into boiling water, they will take approximately 10 minutes to cook. Serve with your favourite pasta sauce and enjoy!
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Bailotherapy Vs. Beerotherapy
Is anyone out there familiar with a thing called Bailoterapia? Better known as Dance Therapy. Better known as a Dance Workout. Better known as Hell in Front of a Wall of Mirrors. I don’t know what I thought I was getting myself into. I had this mental image of hard wood floors, romantic lighting, red lipstick and learning to salsa with Antonio Banderas while having clever conversation that rings with laughter. Well, at least I got the flooring right.
Let me tell you about Bailoterapia. It’s like a death march. Except you are expected to have light-hearted rhythm while you march to your own death. And wear leggings with a high ponytail. And sing along to your Spanish death song. And enjoy yourself while you are dying. I see my water bottle in my jacket pocket- like an oasis in the desert, while I am lunging at my dance leader who shouts only two different words the whole hour- Low! High! Lower! Higher! He alternates depending on which one is going to be more painful. Like for instance, Lunge Lower. Crouch Lower. Dance Lower. March Lower. Twist your body around in two different directions simultaneously… but Lower. You crave to hear the word higher in anticipation of relief from your suffering, until you realize that at some point he has changed the game on you. Now it involves the small sweaty weights we are expected to fling around, so it’s Flail Higher. Hold Higher. Pump higher. Or Dance Higher. Kick Higher. Jump Higher. Double Punt Pump Back Step to the Side while also Stepping Backwards and Forwards Simultaneously… but Higher.
You are ridiculously dehydrated but you don’t care because your side is going to cave into itself at any minute but you don’t care because all those lunges have made your body feel like it’s on fire but you don’t care because you just slipped on your own sweat but you don’t care because you are about twenty seconds away from blacking out.
And that, ladies and gentleman, is Bailoterapia. Somehow when our dance leader does it, he makes it look like dancing. He is laughing and enjoying himself and having a grand old time. Taunting us with his effortless movements- his suave steps, careless kicks and painless pirouettes. What I did- that wasn’t dancing. That was a humiliation.
Go across the street directly afterwards and sit, teeming in my own sweat, on plastic lawn chair in the rain while drinking a beer. I call it: Beeroterapia.
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Visas – The Bane of the World Citizen The fourth installment in a series of articles about Moving to Ecuador
We need a better system for Global Citizens. It can be such a hassle to move around and live in various countries these days! Coming to Ecuador as a tourist is pretty simple for most. You can get a three month visa automatically and currently (this may change soon) you can then pay a fee to extend it to six months. For the average vagabond, this may be all you need. If you are going to seek residency, then we know people that can help. Some associates of ours have established a little business to help people move to Ecuador. We can put you in touch with them or you can check out their new (and developing) website. Basically, it is pretty easy to get residency here, but you need local help as mentioned as it does involve a lot of paperwork and legal legwork. The general idea is, place USD$25K in a local account here and you can get residency. There are also opportunities to get residency if you purchase property above a certain value. Work visas are available if you have skills that are required and a work agreement. As with all this legal stuff, you should check your local embassy or consulate for the most recent details and again, talk to the folk we mentioned above that do this for a living. They do not charge much for their services at all and I highly recommend them. Share this with Friends
Puerto Vallarta
The best place to visit on the coast. I instantly fell in love with this place. I ended up living there for five months. I never ran out of things to do and places to go. If you are considering a trip there, just go! I will try to help you out with as much information as possible. This is a very popular spot for all inclusive packages, and often times you can get some really good deals. However, one of the perks of being in Mexico is the food. In particular, the tacos. They are the best you will every taste. I only ate at the taco stands, and I never got sick. I still recommend that you check out the place first, make sure it is clean. But after that go to town. You can get beef, pork, chicken, fish, shrimp, and chilli relleno (vegetarian). Usually they cost about 80 cents to a dollar. Along the Malecon, there is a food stand called “Gigante Hamburgesas”, yes gigantic hamburgers. They are about the size of your head; I hope you are up to the challenge. They have all of the toppings, from cheese to pineapple. The perfect compliment to the giant hamburgers is none other than the giant beer. Something I love about Latin American countries, they sure know how to serve beer. The giant beer you can also get at every corner store. My personal favourite was the Pacifico brand, but you are also able to get Coronas as well. If you like surfing and soaking in the rays, the best beach to go to is Sayulita. It has white sand as far as the eye can see. This place is full of tourists and locals. The beach is lined with restaurants, markets, and shops. There is a stand where you can buy fresh coconuts to eat on the beach. There are people who are selling silver along the beach. I managed to get a silver ring for only $10. It is really easy to get too. All you have to do is wait for the bus that says “Sayulita” on the windshield. The easiest place to pick up the bus is at the bus stop in front of the Wal-Mart. Yes, there is a Wal-Mart, for all of your needs. From $8 bottle of Bailey’s to food, clothes, and souvenirs. In Puerto Vallarta there is plenty to do. One of my favourite pastimes was to sit in the restaurant “Cheeky Monkey’s” drinking $1 margaritas or beer and watch the sun go down. It is right on the Malecon, facing the ocean and has the most spectacular sunsets. In the evening there is much to entertain along the Malecon as well. There are a lot of art displays, candy apples, amazing sand castles, cotton candy, and a crepe maker as well. All you have to do is point at the toppings you want in it. This can keep one occupied for hours. If you walk south through town, you will get to little huts on the beach where you can have your lunch or dinner. They are really nice, a great place to take a mid-afternoon rest. Now, for the forgetful tourist. I wish that I would have known about this place sooner. It is a store called LOB. It has reasonably priced clothing, and a lot of it is pretty nice too. There are bathing suits, wraps, skirts, tops. It is really the closest thing to a North American store there is in Puerto Vallarta. There are two right on the Malecon. There is also a store called Mega. It is exactly like Wal-Mart but way bigger. Mega is just more centrally located in the city. Getting around is really easy. There are two main bus routes. All of the main spots that the bus goes are written on the windshield. All you have to do is make sure you are on the right side of the road to pick one up. Taxis are also really cheap, only about $1-$4. That should take you pretty much anywhere in the city. Just make sure that you work out a price before you get in, they are not metered cabs. I wouldn’t worry about knowing too much Spanish either. This town is a tourist town, and most people speak English, or enough to do business for sure. I hope this helps in the planning of your trip to Puerto Vallarta. These are just some things that I wish someone would have helped me out with before I went. Have a great trip!
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I Wish you Could Know TodayI wish I could transport you for one minute to see it- to walk the narrow green trails to crooked mud houses, to squint at a fierce sun that never ceases to blaze, to smile at a cloudless blue sky above a terracotta roof, to touch the perfect breeze on a dusty floral road, to sit on a broken tree above a rolling valley, to watch brightly coloured people tugging at stubborn cattle and digging up gardens, to hear beckoning brooks tumble down muddy green hills, to have colours and life explode around you, in every direction you look. I wish you could see it. If there could be a perfect day in an imperfect world, it would be today. Winter is over. I am sitting atop our apartment, underneath our Landlord’s laundry, which consists of mostly underwear. It casts underwear shaped shadows on the ground and I wonder about underwear shaped tan lines. The sun wins the battle against the ozone and so I must put another layer of sunscreen on my nose, the one thing that never ceases to burn. Megan and I are sitting next to each other on our living room couch cushions, drinking a beer in near silence, and we both laugh simultaneously to ourselves as we recount humorous stories for our sorely neglected emails. It is a good day. Share this with Friends
The Ecuador Diet
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- Shoes
- Cheating
- The Language Limbo
- Living With a Lunatic
- Ecuadorian Dateline
- Kindred Cappucicnos
- Cuenca Food Festival
- Spanish 101
- It's Raining, It's Pouring
- Breakdown
- Singing the Alphabet
- Making Sushi
- Happy 6 month
- Festivals of Cuenca Day 4
- Festivals of Cuenca Day 3
- Festivals of Cuenca Day 2
- Festivals of Cuenca Day 1
- Running
- Return of Crazy Drunk Man in Black
- A Question of Marital Status
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